Saturday, 13 June 2009

Starting Over. . . But How & What ?

Okay, now i'm alive again, to which this week I have never felt so.

I have a few goals and i'm not sure where to start or what to do.

1) Uni ??

2) A Job ??

3) A Puppy ??

4) A New 5 Seater Car & Hand Back my VW SOFT TOP :-(

5) Enjoy my freedom and enjoy my family friends again

6) Look for a new home ??

7) Start thinking about a High School For My Eldest

8) Teach Megan how to ride a bike

9) Buy myself a bike

10) Join a Gym,

11) Start Swimming

13) Go To Oz and NZ next year so I need to start saving

12) And a few more. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There are just so many things whizzing round my head at the moment, its making me dizzy, and I would like to beable to sit down and think and not jump into doing the wrong thing.

I have my next appointent next Thursday in London, and providing all my bloods come back good, I am arranging a night out in our local town with my firends. I just would like to go out and have a boogie.... Its been so long since I have been able to do things and not be out of breath and cough I am really looking forward to shaking my booty, wether or not its in time with the music I dont really care, I need a night out to be with my friends. I am so very greatful to be here and have this chance of life again, well I cant really say again, as I dont ever remember living like this, and most certainly not ever live with both my girls, to which they are still shocked that I can do things that I have never been able to do.

I have now started to think about what to write to my donors family. It is harder thank I thought, but am hoping to have composed it by Thursday so I can give it to my co-ordinator to pass on........

I havn't mentioned anything about how grateful I am for this gift, I had been finding it really difficult to talk about this side of the transplant; other than being to very grateful to this lady (my heronie) who I shall never meet, I have not been able to sort out my feelings in my head. But now, since I have been out of hospital and I feel so much better and my blips a distant memory I have been able to think more positivly about things. I have learned alot about myself since the transplant too. It wasn't as easy as I thought either, but I feel I got there in the end :-)

A friend of mine got intouch with me not long ago to say hello. Made my day. Hadn't seen him in quite sometime, and knowing that he was following this to see how i'd been getting on, actually touch a nerve and bought tears to my eyes. We were really close at one point (friends only) and I missed him terribly, but made me feel happy to be here, and that this blog has proved useful and helpful for quite a few people and showing almost naked pics of myself havn't been in vain.
Wednesday I took my girls to school for the first time on my own. First time in 18 months I think and it felt great and then spent the day with my niece and great niece. It was peeing down with rain, and thundering LOADS. It was nice. I climbed up 3 flights of stairs and it felt great!!!!
Thursday I spent the day out again; this time I went into town, was supposed to go Wednesday but it was too wet. I was going to go to the Heartlands - My OLD CF Centre, but I hadnt bought from town what I wanted to, which was to take and give to the nurses and physio's to say thank you for all their hard work at keeping me alive, but I hadnt got the bins I wanted to buy so I will go next week now I imagine.

Megan went to a local high school with her class and did a UGLY BUG DANCE infront of quite afew people and at 3pm we were allowed to go to watch the children in the hall do their dance again which was brilliant.

In the evening my girls went to GoodNews Club and Sparklers and I went round to my friends house for Tea, which was nice... First TIME EVER!!!!!!

Friday I stayed in for a little while and then went and fetched girls from school, for the 3rd consecutive day, and i'm buzzing!! I still am.... So happy right now. Megan was very happy that I went to see her at praise assembly, and it was great to see alot of my friends too..... I am slowly getting to know all the children now, as I never really had chance before, so this time next year I will be able to put all names to faces :-) Watch This Space! :-)


Anne said...

Hi there,
just wanted to introduce myself as I've been reading your blog lately.
I'm from Sweden and my future holds a lung transplant due to alpha1 antitrypsin deficiency(sp?).
My kids are 11 and 7 yo. My recent FEV1 shows 28%. A year ago it was 40% so yes, I'm completely terrified.
I would like to know everything there is to know about transplants, the good as well as the bad.

Feel free to send me an email - it would really make me happy. My biggest problem is being this young and so severely ill due to alpha1. Most people are in their late 50's when they get their diagnosis. So here I am...
Have a nice weekend