Scratching Deeper Beneath the Surface

Okay then......

Here goes this. I don't think some folk will be happy with what I am about to write, so I hope you enjoy a good soap drama. Though after writing this, it may not be as bad as it sounds, so I may just delete this, as soap drama this probably is not!


ROCKY HORROR!!!

I have never been to one and not had known what it was about.. But I knew I was going to go as Magenta - the french maid. The group of us from the school playground was going. And what a good night it was.... Brilliant costumes - here are some pics:

Then at the end of the night I wasn't ready to go to bed, so I went out with one of the mums into town afterwards and met up with one of her friends,and he was handsome, grey but a bit of alright. We ended up in a club and danced pretty much until we got kicked out. My feet were killing by then, and was just dancing in my groovy knee high socks. Anyway, I wasn't drinking so I drove us into town and took my mate and her friend home. i went in for coffee, and only coffee it was.... though not from him trying!!!! he so badly offered it to me on a plate, - though I would guess from his "aura" that he was a male version of a tart. And there was NOWAY! I felt really proud of myself!!! haha - Was good fun to see him ask and ask and ask and ASK. Said I was missing out, and I said that's a shame, something i'll have to live with I guess!!! This was night before valentines day. Then literally about 1hr after I left, the girl he was seeing turned up at his door.... I had to leave early like 9am as I was cooking for 11 people that day and I needed to get home to put the dinner on..... So glad I had to leave or goodness knows how it would have gone... I felt though I had done the walk of shame, yet I had done nothing literally!!!

Anyway that didn't last long between them.. Apparently she found my hair on his bed!! Ooops, and he didn't buy her anything for valentines, so she was not a happy bunny.

And it didn't take him long to find someone else though and the cheek of him - saying I was the wrong colour as I wasn't blonde so he didn't want well, didn't want anything, not even friend. Oh well... One new person met, more to meet.... I am addicted to meeting new folk, its so exciting!!! haha -

And what is it with blonde brunette!! BRUNETTES all the WAY BABY! we are intelligent - well we are supposed to be, so I guess I let the race down there!!! haha

The week before my night out. I had gone to the hospital to see KimmiK. Was ace to see her, and saw my 2 fave nurses... That be Laura and Gareth. I got some scrubs for my night out and saw a ginger plonker too.. was however good to see him finally doing well since his transplant I have to say. However I don't know what it is I have done, but for some reason, he doesnt like me. I saw him and I was polite as can be. He has done nothing to me apart from being a dick for reasons unknown and too has deleted me from the wonderous world of fb. But there is so much crap in the world why make more. He too has a family like me and has decided to buggar off to uni and leave his family behind. Being a mum, I could never do that, but each to their own and you know what, I have not said anything to him, one its not my business what he does and two, I dont talk to him, so why he keeps thinking im going to do something bad to him I never know, and just to say, I have alot on my plate to be gossiping about him. Anyway had my rant there!! lets do move on.
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My real good mate Matt had his leaving party the night I had my ONE YEARS CELEBRATION!

Matt you see, has disappeared to OZ for 3 months, and is back in July..... I am missing him already, though the lil poo bog he is, he is a grumpy bum by not talking to me as much!!! grrrrrr, lol

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I met this lad who back in the day was one of my best friends, and we started meeting up again just recently, and then a day before my years transplant, he came over to see me. He'd arranged to stay, and was going to go home first thing in the morning as he came over quite late - as in 10.45pm late if not a bit later than that; and grown up things happened as they do, and you know what he did, a few minutes later he came to me and said I'm going back home! He was supposed to be a friend, well I wouldn't listen to any reason of his to why he had to get home, which is bad of me really on his defence and I know he has issues right now, however, even one night stands don't do that. They do the walk of shame on the morning after!!!!! - If he knew he was going to go home, he couldn't have come.

Well that was the end of our friendship. I was contemplating deleting him off my facebook, but thought na I wont be so pathetic, but he beat me to it, deleted and BLOCKED me! Ah well........ Better off without DICKHEADS like him.
He couldn't even make it to my 30th birthday back in Jan, cos he was worried what his friends may say. Not even a card either.... I always bothered with him, even when I was really ILL, but im not one for saying well I did this and that, bla bla bla, friends are friends and that is all there is to it, Well no more... I don't deserve a lot, but I deserve better than him even as a friend,... Am gutted it came to an end like that, but hey...... I have my health - but only JUST! I should have learned my lesson the first time things happened, but silly me, keep going back for more,..,.

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I finally had a psychic night!!!! As I always said I wanted to see one on this side and not the other, and it turned out to be a great night..... I didn't have a reading done and I had had one done a few weeks before, which was interesting to say the least.... But nothing that was said has actually happened. <> although the lady knew that I had been offered it on a gold goblet, but id said no!!! haha, that bit was funny!!! So watch this space!

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My 1st Year Of Post Transplant
My day isn't till the 18th itself. As I feel - I went to sleep on the 17th (st.Paddy's day) and woke up - my new life began on the 18th, and that the 17th is time for reflection for my donor and her family. as the exact date to me getting my call.... So I was at the yard - my favourite place to be at the moment, and let off a Chinese lantern in memory of the kind lady who donated to me her lungs. Without them I know I wouldn't be here now to tell the tale... Here are two pics of the lantern in the sky....

There the lantern goes - high in the sky

Anyway, a new / old friend, who I hope to develop to a good friendship, who I had only met once, offered me to go down to his as he couldn't make it to mine for my night out, and me always up for going out meeting new folk and going to different places, I decided to go.

Before arriving there I called into see my VERY good mate, who at the time wasn't feeling too hot, but I wouldn't take no for an answer to go and see her. Kim is too 1 years post, but she is 3-4 days after me. That's how we met. And I love her to bits, and wanted to see her as I promised I would!!!! Had a lovely time;

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My new friend and I skating or should that be falling on ice!!! I fell over so many times, and got so badly bruised. I wasn't so much embarrassed about falling, it just bloody hurt!!!! I bought these figure skating skates about 4 months before I got pregnant with Megan, as Kels and I were going skating a few times, but then I found out I was pregnant, and didn't go again, and then I didn't have time once Meg was first born then when I did I was too ill and breathless to go, so to this day they been in my attic collecting dust.

And I said to him that I cannot skate and that its been ages, and I kept tripping over the toe pick thingy. He was a pro!! HAHA - so now watch this space, I am going all prepared during the Easter hols with elbow and knee pads!! Oh and a helmet too, you think I am joking, I KID YOU NOT! lol

Anyway after, we went for food which was nice and a glass of wine and i was drunk!! So cupsa tea to sober me up when we got back to his. And I found out something really funny. He is the most ticklish guy to have ever met!!!!! SO SO FUNNY! Say no more!!!! haha

Oh and I entrusted him to drive my car, haha how many times does one have to stall the flipping the engine!!! :-D

Next day was funny. Ever had Sausage ..... ...... ...... Roll for breakfast? And I mean the pastry kind! Well I hadn't until then, but with brown sauce lovely... We went to a café and all they had left was those, and I wasnt being fussy anymore, as went to debenhams and it didn't look appetising at all.

All in all a good start to a fab weekend, was good to forget I was a mum and could be reckless!!! Falling over and walking like John Wayne on the ice! - should have gone bowling instead - **note to self** - Always go for safer option!! - Thanks for good weekend, next time I'll behave myself!! ;-)

--------------------------Me With My Shiney New LUNGS!
Saturday now - we had an absolute wicked night... I got dressed up in a straight jacket!!

We All Let Off A Lantern Each - Trying to do this whilst drunk proved quite HARD!

And towards the end of the night I changed into some scrubs, and felt restricted to dance, but what a good night.. I was with people who mattered to me.... It was the best!!!!!!!

Tricia nicked me and took me to Lunar Bar - and gave me a squished FROG! It was yummy... tasted like a hario!!! Must have a few next time I go to town!! They are lush...........

I danced abit, laughed abit, and for once, I didnt go for a poo!!!

My normal thing when i go out on the town, is someone finds me on the loo becuase of my tummy!!! haha

Jody Dressed as a scrub nurse / or she likes to be called a surgeon. Tricia Was An ARMY Nurse, Ada was a sexy doctor, and me a MENTAL pateint, and Sally as a scrub nurse too.... Bit gutted more folk didnt dress up... Would have loved it if my 3 mates, the TWO Kimbo's and Aimee could have made it, but both on IV's and Felt rubbish, and Kimbo no 1 (as she is older) was stuck in hosp too, but was good to have Steve and Kelly too....... At the end of the night or towards the end of the night, we put SaM in the straight jacket, and was so funny..... In the end, it was just Sam & I again.......

Sam so kindly bought a bottle of Champers,
which was ace, and we named it HOPE! :-) And all the lanterns were called Hope too......

Again, had the best night with my real best mates, just wish the other 3 could have made it

And I didn't wake up with too much of a hang over either which was quite nice - And to finish off we ended up here:
A friend of mine Rachey got her transplant after a huge struggle to get on the list.... She is doing well so I hear.

And Stephen Kirsop - waited just over 14 months had his transplant too..... He was home before 4 weeks of his op... So very proud of him and he has a funny brother called Paul!!! -ooops I got the brothers mixed up again!! doh!!!! It was PAUL who has the transplant!!! :0)

As I want to end on a happy note! xxx

TOTAL APOLOGIES!

Right then, Where Do I START!? okay, firstly, I want to say, I am so sorry, it has taken me to bluming long to write. I have how can I put it, been so busy.

The last that was written on here, was that we as a family, required a new pet! Milo. He is as gorgeous as ever, doing tricks of - lay down, roll over, stand, walk, please and SIT! But he doesn't know shut up and leave the CAT alone!!! Ah well, can't ask for it all... The girls totally adore him, and I do too!! :)

I have given up university now. But I intend on going back this coming September to study something else. And that is ODP! I would love to give back what I have been given all these years, corny I know, but thats how I feel and its something I can ACTUALLY do, as working on a main ward or a specialist unit on a ward would be no good due to the bugs. So this I can do, and I look good in scrubs!!

Though I dont think it is a good look with wine in tow

taken from Celebrating My 1st Birthday

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Okay next on the agender - I fell inlove again, but it didnt work out well not intirely sure if it was love, or lust. Either way, it was good whilst it lasted, something that not had found for many years, and now its just ME again. I would like to meet someone, but will wait now till I am back at uni. I'd like a surgeon or a doctor!!! HAHA (in the mean time, to enjoy some fun) . . . . . . .

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Next on the Agender!!!

In September last year, I went and chose another addition for our family, and here is a pic of him!!!




This is SONIC!!!! ----------- ---------- -------- ---->>>

And he is a Gelding which means male but balls chopped off, and he is 5 yaers old. He is a lovely little man, likes to try and take the MIKKY - but he is lovely and really REALLY love him... The girls are totally bessotted with him... I always used to say to their dad when we were together, when I have a transplant, this was before I was even listed - that I would go and get a horse, and that is what I did... Infact he is only a pony as he is 13.2hh and is a welsh section C

He is my escape from life and the girls too, and thought that, with Kelsey it will distract her from boys!! Here's hoping!!! :-)

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Right, next on the agender is:

I have had the most amazing last christmas. I cooked for my nan and roy. My mum and Lee and My two Girlies. I did it all and it was the most amazing feeling, and the year before it was such an effort to eat let alone do presents, breakfast, cook, etc etc. When I'd read other folks comments / blogs etc about how eating Dinner at christmas was a struggle, I couldnt imagine what they meant, and thought, gawd no, I EAT n EAT n EAT all the time, so i cannot imagine not wanting to let alone being too tired to, and yes I know the meaning now, and its not a nice feeling, its like a sluggish feeling with tiredness.- but this year, was totally amazing!!!!!! Was soo good to be able to wake up in the morning to the girls opening their presents!!!

This is us, in the evening after dinner cooked, eaten and put away and now time to chill.... I know I went abit over board with the girls this year, but what an amazing day I have to say....

Then there was New Year..... Sara the owner of the stables where Sonic is kept asked us to her house for a party. To which I accpeted quite late on.. As my family, I had booked right back in October as I wanted to make sure I was with all my family this year, as the last new years, I was on my own with my mum and girls as I was too ill too go elsewhere which was supposed to be with my nephew in Essex. So I had asked all my family to which they all said YES! I was so happy, best feeling in the world. I wanted to do Christmas too, but alot of family couldnt do that, but said definately NY. So that was it. PARTY at time, like the old times for NY!

It was Kelsey's Birthday begining of Decemeber and hit the BIG ONE O! 10!!!! I was so proud of her!!!! My baby 10 years old, and I was here to see it!!! YAY!!!!

So I mentioned to my sister about NY and she said, Oh we are going to john's mum's now. Which is her hubby's mum, and I said Oh... :( Well she gave us invitations!! Oh again I thought. She said, well you come to us, and I said NO, I had arranged all to come to mine, I dont fancy going somewhere else. I was GUTTED to say the least!!!! i couldnt believe it.. the one year I am fit and healty after just having a transplant, to be told yes we'll definately come, TO NO WE ARE NOT, right at the last minute, was awful to say the least.

I sid to one of my family members, I feel like my family were only nice to me when I was ill, and now I am well, I dont see many people at all. And I was told not to be so stupid. I was giong through a rough time mentally then, as you do get ups n downs with transplant, and its mainly acceptance that I was looking for, but I couldnt find it, not in this healthy world now, and I didnt belong in the old world either as in LIMBO - if that makes sense.

But I was told not to be so stupid, but to this day now - I am post 1 year, and I only heard from my mum dad and both nans and my cousin Kate and no-one else. So I have decided that I cannot be bothered. I turned 30 too and saw only my mum and dad, and only heard from one sister. The one person who I thought I was closest to in the family, nothing, and not even a birthday to my daughter too :-(

I have accepted now that I cannot keep going on like this, and I am fed up of doing all the chasing, to see everyone, as I feel I do, but I dont get to see my family back in return unless I do all the work, as I would be told well you dont come and see us now you are healthy, bla bla bla, I do miss my family I must admit, but hey ho hum...... Oh I dont know I am rambling on as per usual,and I guess from their point of view im talking crap, but this is how this feels to me.

Anyway NY was great, with new family, who I infact have taken too, took me a while to feel that I fit in at the yard, but I feel as if I do now and the guys down the YARD are totally AMAZING, and accept me for who I am .... TOTALLY DIPPY!!!!!!! haha

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EGYPT!

For my 30th We were going to go abroad to Morrocco, however, due to the heavy snow at gatwick we were not able to fly out. So we changed out flights to EGYPT. The best thing to have ever happened... It was awesome. Meg has never flown before, so I was able to do it.. TAKE MEG on her FIRST flight!!!!!! I really always wanted to, but came to the conclusion that I wouldnt be doing this, and to beable to I was buzzzzzzing all the way to Sharm-el-Shiek. I went before with their dad when I was 21. And unfortuately our photo's never came out, so this time I was making sure I took LOADS!

The girls loved it and I think my mum did too. Kelsey for only being 10 loves culture... She was amazed at the museum and the pyrimids....

All I can say was, I thought yes, i'll be able to chill and sleep by the pool, as can remember nothing else when been on holiday, and so I lay down by the pool to watch the girls play, and I couldnt sleep, I DIDT NEED TO SLEEP!! It was an amazing feeling to have all this energy and no need to re-cooperate!!! The food was amazing, we stayed ALL INC and was the best!!!!

However, when we were there, we did a horse ride in the desert and I stupidly whilst galloping didnt wear anything across my face to keep the dust away and that was it... I got a chest infection!! Snotty nose too.... The night I got back from Egypt was one of the best nights in mylife in such a long time. And after a week of being back in UK, I needed IV's in hospital and my sinuses were completely blocked with severe infection. The iv's and orals I took worked and I blew the best ever, which at the time was 2.19 over 2.89.

Here are a few pics from Egypt:

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SUMMERY

Okay, Brilliant Christmas, New Year, Birthday Good..... Fantastic Holiday, Ended up In hospital for being a dumb bum, seen the light with my family, made some fantastic new friends, got closer to the ones I have already, Love my Horse and Dog and now forgetting my Cat.... Fell inlove, lost a brilliant friend due to my dumbness, lost 2 freinds post transplant, and to CF. My friend is due to have a baby soon, second baby and CF, and my other good CF freind getting married in July. And finally id like to go travelling where possible!!!!!! I have lots more to say, but I think at the moment, this is good enough for a quick update and will babble on about other stuff in more detail soon, I promise!! :-D

Thanks again for reading, and promise I won't take this long to update again!!!!!!!

ANOTHER MONTH - ANOTHER ADDITION TO OUR PURRRFECT FAMILY

Okay then people. Along time I know since I have written on this. Each week has gone past and thinkng I cannot write as I dont know where to start, and every week after I kept feeling the same, but it got worse and worse, so finally this evening I thought even though I do not have photo's to post as I deleted all of my files, including all my UNI work, Photo's iTunes - am totally gutted, but even though I do not have the pics to include I thought i'd get a start with this and let you all know what I have been up to.

Okay, since having MILO - he still pee's on the floor and Poo's which is annoying. Kelsey has her own bedroom now, and Megan this weekend has her own bedroom (photo's ill post soon). I am now just under 8 months post transplant. and 6 months just over since I had IV's for chest infection. It is so unreal I cannot believe it. Time is flying - And end of September we bought a horse! It was an early 30th Birthday pressie for me from me and this caused alot of ***** with some of my family. Mainly my dad and nan. Everyone else including friends were supportive. I had asked my mum, dad, both nan's if they would "chip" in with a horse as a special reminder for me when I am 30 in years to come. My mum said yes great idea as long as I could look after and prove I could afford it. Well I got rid of my convertible car and got a cheaper one, and also the money I had saved up for my funeral. My one nan who was recently widowed from my grandad just over 2 years ago now, said brilliant, and I showed that I could financally look after as well as physically look after. My dad was chufed to begin with and said yes its a great idea. So when I asked him to chip in, he changed his mind and said it was bad, I cant even look after my dog or cat, which is nonsence. He said this as I leave Milo at home sometimes, when I am at uni. So anyway, my nan wasnt keen but was supportive and said she'd think about it, but NOT AT ALL AGREED WITH ME, and THOUGHT IT WAS A WHIM and i'd get bored, which is really great for your confidence that family have in you. So one eve my dad went round to her house and said I am not to have one etc etc, and really got stuck in to my nan, which my nan was quite happy with as she didnt want me to have one. I had already made up my mind, as even before my transplant, I used to say to my husband at the time, when im better im going to get a horse, and that is exactly what I did with most of my family's support. My nan is still not happy, but she said she wont be nasty about it. Dad has been to the yard to see him on more than one occasion and has watched the girls ride and taken photo's which is lovely.

My pony is 13.2hh, A dark bay, and blue eyes. His name is SONIC! Oh and we all LOVE him sooooooo very much. Since getting him end of Sept, we have seen him every day - apart from one and that was this saturday - as I was decorating all day Megans bedroom to which she said, OH MUMMY, I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH (whilst jumping from leg to the other and her arms bent and fists bobbing up and down very rapidly). . . . . . :-)

Okay well the girls are back at school now Megs is in year 1 and Kelsey is yr 5. I was, I found even - it to be very emotional taking them to school, as last year I had to be let out for the day to take Meg on her first day. This time, I strolled in and hugged her loads, and strolled out taking my time, as I was in no rush to get home to do treatment or anything like that. I felt amazing, and I did have a lil sniffle.

I have been asked to be God Mummy to MY very good bestest sister type/ friend - I say sister, as where we go we get asked if we are sisters, (we squabble like siblings) is rather funny! anyway to her son Mackenzi! So am looking forward to that.

And quickly again about Sonic, where he is being stabled, I have met some new wonderful people, and at this perciest Moment in time, I am so happy and content. Life is perfect.

And finally, I am back at UNIVERSITY back to studying and finishing off my forensic science degree which going back was just a mere fantasy, a dream. One that has come true. I may not look like a disney princess, but I feel like one with my happy ever after . . . . . . :-)

Thanks for reading and hope it wasnt too boring and long winded for you. Tired to make it interesting. x x x

Another Week - A New Addition To Our Family - which to me, is PerFecT!

Well I went to the Heartlands Hospital On Thursday as planned, and was really quite strange. Just walking up there and not needing to be admitted, the first time in a few years that this has happened and being a patient is such the norm. I first dropped off the sharps bins, and then met up with Steve as he is in hosp at the moment, and we had lunch at the canteen. then we went to the Physio Department to drop off the first bucket of chocolates! Was so fortunate that it was the monthly Physio meeting, which I wasnt prepared for and walked in and I was able to Thank ALL the physio's for all their hard work. Right then, next stop, the clinic, and then we walked round to the ward, where Ash and Ben were. This where I gave Ash the chocs for the ward, and then I saw a real good friend Juliann, and she looks much better than what I imagined last time when I spoke to her last. Then I saw the CF nurses and gave them their choc'c which were to be shared with the CF Physio's. Then I had my blows checked which were 1.59 over 2.45Best Ever Blow on the second half. Rifat the doctor listen to my chest and said WOW!!! She has never seen a transplantee post, and she could NOT believe the difference... I then saw Dr.Whitehouse and Dr.Nash which was lovely to see and Thank for their care with looking after me, and Dr.Whitehouse said she'd like a post card from all the places me and the girls travel to next year.

Friday we just chilled as I was shattered going to Birmingham on Thursday, and we had planned to go to the Cinema on Saturday with Kelsey's BFF Nell, but it was going to cost me £18. so I decided to go on the Sunday which the cost was only £6. And we went to see Night At the Museum 2, and it was really Funny. I like the actor Ben Stiller - he's short and of course FUNNY!

Monday, what did we do, I cannot remember, oh yes, I went to NO I didn't Ikea was Tuesday. Hmmm, think monday I just stayed at home, oh yes, we had roast beef and we took Megan to tesco's on her bike and it took us twice as long, but she enjoyed herself, riding and stopping and riding some more! Oh and I went to the doctors, as I got no sleep, my back is really paining me lately, and its been going on for over 2 weeks. Its lower pain, in the kidney area, but sometimes too it aches in the lower left of my side. Even strong painkillers such as morphine tablets were not killing the pain, so thought id better go to the doctors,which felt quite odd as I don't usually go to tge GP for things, as I was always being seen at the hospital. So I was prescribed some antibiotics just incase it was an infection.

Tuesday Cathy took Meg and I to Ikea whilst Kelsey stayed with her friend and her brother. First time I have left Kelsey with an adolencent and not an adult and I was scared from the time I dropped her off to the time I picked her up and I wont be doing it again, as I was too worried, but she is getting older and needs abit more responsibilty, but I am not ready to give that just yet. But I suppose you don't know until you try.

In the evening, my niece came over to baby sit whilst I went out to a YUMMY MUMMY CURRY evening, which was great stuff. I tried lots if Indian cuisine and actually liked it. Since y transplant I like different things and spice is one of them!!! On the way home, the night was clear so I decided to put the roof down and drive home, to which as soon as we dropped off Sally it started to rain. Was great fun.

We bought some stuff for Kelsey's bedroom, as now my mum is no longer here, and got a job without even letting me know, I have decided to now decorate the room for Kelsey and the girls can now have their own room, which I promised this once I had a transplant. And another thing I Promised was:

This is Milo...... He is a cross between a Yorkie and a Maltese, called a MORKIE!!!!!!!

I got him from stafford, and the family that we got him from were lovely. I don't know what I expected, but I was impressed that he came from a loving a family, and I think they were impressed that he was coming to a loving home. The girls absolutely adore him and I have not seen them so in love and carefree in a long time, and it is nice to see them both relaxed and H.A.P.P.Y.!.!.! He was born 27th May I think . . . . I cannot remember, but will find out. He has a lovely temprement, and is such a happy pup, I hope this continues, though I cannot really say this, as he has only been with us one night so far. . . . so time will tell, but the girls are happy right now, so I am happy too.

Meg Learned To Ride Her BIKE!!!! YAY!!!!!

Last week, I took Kelsey into town and she bought her first outfit of clothes with her pocket money and chose all by herself. (a sign of growing up) and when we came outside the shop, these bad guys were waiting for us!!! So I nabbed a pic with Kelsey and them!

My Nephew Leon, is now back in AFGAN: Missing him loads and only got to see him once. I cannot wait for him to come home later on this year and get to spend some proper quality time with him. Leon, You are Our Hero and We Miss You Loads!!! Take Care, Lot's Of Love Your Lil

x Aunt Sally x

Our War Hero

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Okay another long week before I update my blog. Again, appologies, think I will have appologies as my signiture and have it at the begining of each post!!

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Anyway, lots have happened the last week, and tiny bit....

Meg took her Ballet and Modern Dance Exams and passed. Here are the pictures:

Meg having her hair neatly done!

Meg In Her Modern Dance Costume

Megan's Neatly Beautiful Hair

Proud Meg with her Medals and Proud MUM Below with Meg's Medal.

Remember without this gift I recieved (double lung transplant)

These Photo's and Experiences would NOT be possible, and I never forget that espically when these magical moments happen!!!!!

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Meg and I went to town and had some fun and saw a pony!

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We All Went Bowling: Maddison, Megan, Cathy, Nick Mac & Moi

Last time I went bowling I found it really difficult and couldn't breathe and was forced not to be bothered and had a rubbish time. This time was just fantastic!!!

div align="center">My girls had their sports day which was fab!! Here are some pics of my girls and a comparrison of me from last year to this year. Last year on sports day I was on 4 litres of O2 sat down resting, and 6 litres when walking, and I walked to the toilet and started coughing up blood, GREAT HUH! BUt this year, I even particitpated in the mums race, which to my friends horror!! I asked the head if they are going to have parents race this year and then my friend Trish butted in and said oh common, she got new lungs this year, so little did she realise that she would too be taking part. It was well funny,as I fell right arse over tit. ( I don't know what happened, one of two things, my legs just decided to be like jelly and give way, or I was running that fast (i wish) couldnt stop and my brain was way ahead of me,and I just fell, cos my legs wouldn't go fast enough, but then when I was looking up at the sky, after i'd fallen, I realised that another mum fell too, I up I got and onward trotted and came last! But hey is was brilliant, just getting to the end - what an archievment for me I can tell you, but the best thing, wasnt being knackered at the end, or even to COUGH! So to me I was a winner there!!! :-)

That was Tuesday.
(will post comparrisons next week)

Meg and I after a lovely weekend on our own, as Kelsey had gone on BROWNIE CAMP. I found it really quiet and odd without having Kelsey around, however it was nice to just spend some quality time alone with Megan & It was just Great. Fetching Kelsey from Camp was the best. She had grown up somewhat over the weeked, and this made me realise more, that I am so SO SO SO looking forward to the summer holiday's this year!!!!!

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Megan graduated from Reception which was abit emotional for me. For one, I had to bed the doctors to let me go home just so I could take Meg on her first day which was so hard, and then skipping pretty much out the play ground taking Meg and Kelsey home from their last day of term, fully healthy and breathing with no oxygen, was really quite hard to deal with and I cried alittle bit of happiness and just amazement with how far I have come, again thanks to a kind stranger I can do this, and becoming a Donor is so easy and to beable to give someone the chances I have been given is just amazing. too,

Megan at her final praise assembly with 2 certificates!!

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My Girls at their end of term concerts. Megan playing the African Drums and Kelsey playing the flute . . . . .

Here are the mum's and I, wanting To WIN the MOTHERS RACE!!
Noone's In It To Win It. . . . - Honest!

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NOt sure what happened rest of the week, oh yes, Wednesday I had my first lay in, and then Thursday a trip to harefied to check on the new lungs, and even though I felt rubbish and thought id need to stay in, my lung function had improved to 1.84fev1 over 2.45fvc . . . . So I came home, still none the wiser to why I have been experiencing lower back pain(kidney area) and lower left lung pain, so taking co-drydamol but wasnt working so starting takng oxinorm I think, but just one tablet. I only decided to take this after 2 nights of no sleep, (where I was getting so grumpy and taking it out on the girls, so now I have been better after taking one at night.

Friday, had a day of complete rest. After London on Thurs I was shattered, and then Saturday, Kels had her theatre and I went home to clean and Iron (i think) and then when I picked Kels up we went to nanny paulines where they would see their dad and had a lovely lunch with them at the pub. Then my friend texted to ask if I was still going to house warming and engagement - Oooops, I forgot, though I knew there was a reason to my girls staying with their nan and dad. So I quickly went home and to the local shop.store to by a bottle of wine and I get asked for ID. I didnt have any, so I wouldnt get served. I was complimented by looking young, but unhappy cos I couldnt buy a bottle of wine for my friends. So I just went witha card and a bought pint of milk (for my tea) joke, I needed some for home before I went.

Sunday I stayed in my PJ's ALL DAY!!!!!!!! As lately I have been v tired, and not 100%, but after the rest, I have started to feel much better, but still have lots of things to do. I have been thinking lots about the trip i'd like to go on next year. Have decided on destinations, and they are -
From London to:

1) India
2) Japan

3) Thailand

4) Australia

5) New Zeland

6) Fiji

7) USA (LA)

8) Back To London

Just me and the girls are going to go, my mum is thinking about it, but if im honest I think i'd rather just do it on my own with my girls - some bonding that hasn't happened for a very long time. So Christmas is going to be rather sparse and birthdays too. Though I have to make up Kelsey and Megan's room, as now my mum has gone, I promised Kelsey that she can have her own room, so I need to find bits and peices for their rooms, I am going to do during the school holidays whilst they are at their dads, and my good friend Cathy said that she would help and also offered her bf to help too!! :-) So great. Have been to homebase (hardware store) to choose some paints. We have about 5 different swatches of paint on the wall, and none are the colours Kelsey likes. Meg however will be happy with what ever :-)

Meg Is Still doing her Piano and is doing really well & Can now play YankeeDoodle all the way through :-)

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Tuesday was Ethan's 9h Birthday. Kelsey went to his party last tuesday at the bowling alley. Was a good party. Thank you Ethan, And

H.A.P.P.Y - B.I.R.T.H.D.A.Y

Here are the Guy's On Eth's Birthday Having a Giggle

Ethan's 9th Birthday Playing bowling and coming 3rd!! (Here Come The Girls - Thinking they RULE! (of course) :-)
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Kelsey Wii'ing It!

Here is Meg as Optimus Prime
(I can see you!!!)
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I have started buying school uniform and waiting on a delivery from the internet with the rest of their clothes then all I need to buy are shoes and trainers. Feel so up on it all at the moment.

Friday last week, I finally had my long over dued Guitar Lesson!! YAY . . . . Thanks Brian.
Kelsey I have since found is way more into it than I am. She really want's to learn it so she can sing with it, wheras I cannot sing for the life of me and I like strumming it for a bit of fun and to chill. I think Kelsey will take it up as an instrument and Megan will do the Piano. So that will be something to look forward to - Lots of NOISE in our household!!! :-) I enjoy it actually, makes me feel alive!!!!!

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NOW TODAY!!!! BEST DAY OF MY NEW LIFE SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelsey, Nell (Kelsey's bestfriend) and I taught Meg how to ride her bike with NO stabilizers!!!! I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Happy!!!!!!!!!!!! It was one of my aims to do when I got better, and I (we) did it...... Megan only needed to be pushed fast twice and she got the hang of it straight away and didnt fall off, just kept putting her feet down to stop her falling, and towards the end of the bike ride, she was pushing herself off and riding by herself with absolutely NO help!!!!!! It was sooo cool.... I did however say to the girls, "Right then, if we get Megan to ride her bike all by herself today, i'll buy you ALL an ice cream!!!" (I thought; id better have some money in my purse, cos now I have said this, Meg will be able to ride her bike) and true enough, she did and I had to pay out with IcE CrEaMs - but hey, it was SoOoOo Worth it!!!!! I am the proudest Mum in the World Right Now!!!!! Here are some pics of Meg riding; and our day at the counrty side centre!

A Little Video Taken By Me -

Still heavy breathing with exitemeny by the sound of it!!!

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The Proud Mum & Meg

(taken by Kelsey-Louise)
Thurday I am going back to Bimingham heartlands hospital (where I used to go for my CF care) to take back the ventilator that I no longer use and the nebulizers that I started making a collection of and sharp bins and lots of other medical things that I no longer use!!! I'll have more free space in my wardrobe then.

Right I have to go now, as I need to take my 10om tac.

NIght NIght
x x